Women in the church: What does God want? Part 1of 6 · Glorifying God in His High Calling of Being a Submissive Wife
Women in the church: What does God want? Part 1 of 6:
Glorifying God in His High Calling of Being a Submissive Wife
Colossians 3:18
(Children's Sheet for Sermon Interaction is at bottom. Notes are throughout sermon)
Please turn to Colossians 3:18. As you are turning there, I want to announce that this is the first sermon in a satellite series that I am doing over the next weeks. The overall title of the series is called, "Women in the church: What does God want?" When we are done with this series, I'll take up Colossians 3:19 in respect to men. In the meantime, we come into verse 18 with Paul moving into addressing conduct relations that specifically have to do with submission to immediate authorities. Paul goes from spouses, to children, to slaves, and then to the masters of the slaves. He starts with the necessity for wives to submit to their husbands. The fact that Paul addresses this subject demonstrates that submission was an issue that needed to be pursued in the upper Asiatic Churches of his day. In the corrupt culture of our own day, where the diseases of feminism, arrogance, rebellion, and lack of love, have infected the whole society, the subject of being submissive is typically looked upon with disdain, especially in respect to wives submitting to their husbands. The lost world culture, in sin, has sought to redefine God's institution of marriage. Biblical submission is one of the areas that has come under attack. Unfortunately, Christians have also been tainted by the world in respect to these things. Submission is no longer seen as the Christlike virtue that God says that it is. It is treated like a curse, or as a personal option. To live Biblically, according to the Spirit, we must relentlessly fight these influences. Part of the fight means being grounded in God's word on the matter. This is what we are going to do this morning. Please prepare your heart to learn with me from God's word, in this sermon titled,
Women in the church: What does God want? Part 1
Glorifying God in His High Calling of Being a Submissive Wife
[prayer]
The charge we are examining is,
"18 Wives, be subject [Gk. hupotasso] to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord." Colossians 3:18
We will examine this in conjunction with three other New Testament passages. One is the parallel in Ephesians,
"'22 Wives, submit [Gk. hupotasso] to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject [Gk. hupotasso] to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. ... 33 ... the wife must see to it that she respects her husband." Ephesians 5:22-33
In Titus 2, we find that wives are urged to,
"... encourage the young women to love their husbands,
[By the way, there is a lot of teaching, and preaching, out there now-a-days on marriage about men loving their wives, but then wives are to be respecting their husbands. It is found in our Colossians, and the parallel Ephesians passage. It is also in 1 Peter, which I will get to in a moment. The big trend is that men are taught to love their wives; women are taught to respect their husbands. We must be careful though, because the full counsel of God indicates that He wants women "to love their husbands," here in Titus. Paul continues,]
to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, submitting [Gk. hupotasso] to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored." Titus 2:5
Finally, in 1 Peter 2 we read,
"2:20 ... But if when you do what is right and suffer for it you patiently endure it, this finds favor with God. 21 For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps. 22 He committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth; 23 and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously; ... 3:1 In the same way, you wives, be submissive [Gk. hupotasso] to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, 2 as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. 3 Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; 4 but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive [Gk. hupotasso] to their own husbands; 6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him master, and you have become her children if you do what is right and do not fear anything that is frightening." 1 Peter 2:22-23, & 3:1-6
Learning from all these New Testament passages together will help us to glean essential principles for understanding what it means to be glorifying God in His high calling of being a submissive wife. As we proceed, I want to make a few comments about the term submission that is used in these texts. It is hupotasso in the Greek. Hupotasso was a Greek military term that meant to arrange troops under the command of a leader. In non-military use, it was a voluntary attitude of giving in, of cooperating, of assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden. It is also used in statements where it means to arrange under, to subordinate, to subject, to put in subjection, to obey [see 1 Peter 3:5 with 6 above, ie. "submissive" with "obeyed"], to submit to one's control, to yield to one's admonition or advice. In respect to our passages, this word is a manifestation of the Holy Spirit in the body. It is used as a willing word that implies personal volition from the heart. It is essential to keep this in mind. This subjection that is expected from Christian women is an attribute of love that comes out of the redeemed self in Christ. Wives, when you do this, you are doing sacrificial love. This manifestation of love, which is also a manifestation of Christ in you, is where you sacrifice certain self oriented aspects of yourself for the sake of the higher call of God's design, goals, and overall purpose. This kind of subjection, as a manifestation of spiritual love for husbands, and for Christ, is not something that degrades anyone, or is meant to degrade anyone. Feminists say that it does, but feminists are liars. It is not something that demeans you of your value. It is like Christ Himself demonstrates the word in Himself,
"28 When all things are subjected to Him, then the Son Himself also will be subjected to the One [the Father] who subjected all things to Him, [the Son] ..." 1 Corinthians 15:28
For the Son to be subjected to the Father, this does not mean that He is inferior, demeaned, or is not equal with the Father. It means that Jesus fulfills His role, goals, and overall purpose that He has ordained for Himself in the Godhead. With these things in mind, I want to cover 4 main principles that keep us us on the right track concerning this high calling.
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The first principle is to recognize that marriage is an ordination of God that He designed. This principle is important because the definition, purpose, and proper function of marriage was not invented by people. Respecting this will keep us from trying to redefine God's institution. For example, our passages speak of woman (translated as wife) with her man (translated as husband) in a special relationship. We notice
"18 Wives, be subject to your husbands, ..." Colossians 3:18
"22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, ... 23 ... the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, ... 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' 32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church." Ephesians 5:22-33
"... young women to love their husbands, ... submitting to their own husbands, ..." Titus 2:5
"3:1 ... you wives, be submissive to your own husbands ... the behavior of their wives," 1 Peter 2:22-23, & 3:1-4
@1 God wants Christian wives to submit to their _________________. (Colossians 3:18, Ephesians 5:22)
The point is that marriage (as what God calls "one flesh") where a woman joins with a man, was instituted in the beginning by God solely in God's determination. Non-Christians can use this language too, but they do not understand what they are talking about. In fact, they will use our language, while trying to change its proper definition for us. For example, Webster's Dictionary definition of marriage used to agree with the Bible. This is the way it was originally defined in the Dictionary:
"MAR'RIAGE, n. [L.mas, maris.] The act of uniting a man and woman for life; wedlock; the legal union of a man and woman for life. Marriage is a contract both civil and religious, by which the parties engage to live together in mutual affection and fidelity, till death shall separate them. Marriage was instituted by God himself for the purpose of preventing the promiscuous intercourse of the sexes, for promoting domestic felicity,and for securing the maintenance and education of children."--Webster's dictionary, 1828
That sounds pretty Biblical doesn't it? Now listen to what has been added recently by the lost world culture to the latest edition of the Webster's dictionary:
"mar·riage 1 a (1): the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law
[notice it doesn't say "instituted by God Himself," like it used to? Now it says, "recognized by law." It goes on,]
(2): the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage (same-sex marriage)"--Webster's Dictionary, 2009
What has happened is that the sinful world has sought to redefine God's holy institution. In doing so, the world has defined marriage as a sinful institution. Same-sex unions are not marriage. They are abominations that come under the category of a particular sexual sin. The true institution of marriage is only understood according to the One true God who created it. This is why Paul quoted the description of God's proto-marriage from Genesis. We read in Genesis,
"18 ... God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.' ... 22 The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. 23 The man said, 'This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.' 24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh." Genesis 2:18-24
@2 God says that marriage is when a man leaves his mother and father and joins to his _________________. (Genesis 2:18-24)
According to God, marriage is where a man no longer is alone, but receives a helper that is suitable for the man. The principle, and pattern, is that wives are helpers for husbands. The principle, and pattern, is that there is no such thing as a marriage of a male with a male, or of a female with a female. Woman was taken out of man, for man. Man was not taken from man to be the man's helper in the marriage bond. Then the pattern and principle is that a man leaves his father and mother, and joins to his wife, and they become "one flesh." The principle and pattern is that they do not join to become independent from one another. This is the definition of marriage that was repeated by Jesus in Matthew 19, and then by Paul. In the Christological revelation that came later, the Spirit reveals that marriage is a picture of Christ's relationship with His church,
"31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. 32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church." Ephesians 5:31-32
@3 Marriage is a mystery picture of Christ's relationship with the ______________. (Ephesians 5:31-32)
The world does not understand these things, because they are spiritually appraised. Because of this, the world will define its own ideas of marriage. The world will also define the roles, attitudes, goals, and purpose, for their philosophical marriage relationships. But God wants us to listen to Him concerning what He has ordained and designed. He wants us to reject the world's lies. This leads to
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the Second principle to glean for understanding what it means to be glorifying God in His high calling of being a submissive wife. It is that submissiveness concerning wives is not a man made mandate. Subjection is a design mandate of God meant to complete the proper function of marriage,
"18 Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord." Colossians 3:18
Notice that subjection to husbands is not described as fitting to the husband (even though this may be the case because the wife is the helpmate part of the definition of marriage). The Spirit is indicating to us that the subjection of the wife to her husband is fitting in the Lord because God made it this way. In the same way that marriage is designed, defined, and ordained, by God, wives, your submission is part of the definition,
"22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. ... 33 ... the wife must see to it that she respects her husband." Ephesians 5:22-33
God has ordained that each of us husbands be the head of our wife as Christ is the head of the church. Prophetically, God established this relationship in the beginning to reflect the Christological reality. Wives, this means that your husband is not your head just because he thinks it is a good idea. Your husband is not your head because the church has supposedly been misunderstanding the Scriptures since the day they were written, like a few desperate feminist pseudo-theologians try to assert. This design of your submission is more than something cultural. What is cultural though, is the modern feminist attack on God's design as a manifestation of the sin that is in the culture. Wives, the fact of the matter is that not only is your submission ordained by God, but husbands, so is your proper leadership role. You don't cease being the head of your wife just because deceived people keep trying to convince you that spouses are equal in their roles. The Spirit states God's design in easy to understand terms:
As the church is subject to Christ in submission, so also wives ought to be subject to their husbands in everything.
The authority of Christ, and willing subjection to Him, is the analogy that God uses. I want us to notice the big "so that" in Titus. The big "so that" is the God focus,
"... encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, submitting to their own husbands,
[Now here comes the big "so that"]
so that the word of God will not be dishonored." Titus 2:5
Now think about this. Do we truly realize what is at stake? The word of God is "dishonored" when God's definition of marriage, and His mandate of the proper role relationship, is abrogated.
What does this mean, then, when women and men in our age think they are proclaiming some kind of freedom in Christ by attacking the role of the husband to be the authority, and leader, in marriage?
What does this mean when they attack the necessity, and role, of the wife to submit to him?
Such people are not dishonoring the words of mere men. They are dishonoring the word of God. Lack of submission actually dishonors both the husband and the wife too. The husband is dishonored when his God-ordained role is not respected. The woman is dishonored because she has sinned. Think about how many wives shame themselves in the feminist tainted church of our day, by despising their role. Nevertheless, dishonor to husbands and wives takes second place to dishonoring God, and His word. The point is that all of us husbands are part of the plan, but men did not invent this relationship dynamic. God invented it and God mandated it. Peter adds depth,
"3:1 ... you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, 2 as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. 3 Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; 4 but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God." 1 Peter 2:22-23, & 3:1-4
Who cares what men want? This is what God wants. Even if a husband is disobedient to the word as a male-feminist, and thinks that his wife should not submit to him, God's design is not contingent upon the feminist-man's humanistic disobedient philosophy. God is the one who says that the submissive attitude is a manifestation of a wife's inner person of the heart. It is not man's work. It is a manifestation of what the Holy Spirit has done, and is doing, in the godly woman. The gentle and quiet spirit is precious in the sight of God, and that is what matters the most. I want us to think about how far reaching this is:
Wives, your inner person may be desirable to your husband; but then again it may not be.
Either way, it does not matter what his opinion is concerning God's design. The main point on this particular principle is that God mandates these things in His word. Even if all of society happens to think it is a great idea for wives to be submissive, it's still not a good enough reason for promoting Biblical submission. What is good enough, is that God expects us to embrace His design as the best design for the proper function of what He created. This leads to
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the Third principle for understanding what it means to be glorifying God in His high calling of being a submissive wife: Submissiveness concerning wives is primarily for God's sake, and to glorify Him. This is consistent throughout God's word. Wives are to be subject to their husbands,
"... as is fitting in the Lord." Colossians 3:18
The Lord's sake is the issue--being "in" Him. Earlier Paul said he was,
"... rejoicing to see your good discipline and the stability of your faith in Christ. 6 Therefore as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, ..." Colossians 2:5-7
The Colossians received Christ as their Lord, which means that they received Him as their Master. Christ our Master is the focus. Walking "in Him" as the Master is the focus. Wives, doesn't this change things when you realize that what you are doing is fitting in the Lord, for the Lord's sake? It is where you look beyond your husband and up to the heavenlies to the One seated at the right hand of the Father. He is the Lord, and so because He is the Lord getting the glory, your husband is your head getting your submission. This is the essence of Ephesians,
"22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. ... 33 ... the wife must see to it that she respects her husband." Ephesians 5:22-33
Notice that the Lord's sake, and His glory, is the focus again--"as to the Lord." Christian wives, listen to me; the world, politicians, movies, novels, college professors, and even a few deficient preachers pushing a feminist view of marriage, are not going to tell you that submission to your husband is your living illustration of the church's submission to Christ. But it is true. Your life is like a sermon illustration of the New Covenant. Whenever a wife puts on that rebellious attitude of non submission in respect to her husband, her pride and contempt are not only hurting her husband, but her pride and contempt is hurting the glory of God in her representation of the church. Paul is clear; Submit as to the Lord. To not submit, is to do so as not submitting to the Lord. Either way, your inner person is coming out in such a way as to glorify either an attitude of rebellion to the Lord, or of obedience to the Lord. To submit to the Lord is to glorify Him. To not submit, is to glorify self. I hope we are all seeing why this is such an important teaching. This is why the theme of this sermon is centered around glorifying God in His high calling of being a submissive wife. Then Titus 2,
"... so that the word of God will not be dishonored." Titus 2:5
You love the Lord. You don't want to dishonor God's word. This is the point. Then 1 Peter 2 brings it together in sharp clarity,
"2:20 ... But if when you do what is right and suffer for it you patiently endure it, this finds favor with God. 21 For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps. ... 3:1 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands ... 3 Your adornment must not be merely external ... 4 but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God." 1 Peter 2:22-23, & 3:1-4
Favor with God in suffering. In your submission, you may suffer. The Spirit says that this purpose is a "calling," which means that it is for God's sake. Why? How can this be? Because it is the pattern of the suffering Christ. Manifesting Christ brings glory to God. But you ask:
How do I do that, Kerry?
With a gentle and quiet spirit as a fruit of the Holy spirit.
This is precious in God's sight for His sake. In every single instance of submission, God's sake, His glory, and His honor, is what ultimately matters. This isn't unique. This is what matters in ministry of any Kind--from mission work in an orphanage, to being a pastor-teacher, or whatever. The shape here can simply be called "the mission of submission." The main point is that God is the most important One when it comes to the role of wives in submission to their husbands. Husbands are important too, but husbands are secondary.
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The Fourth principle for understanding what it means to be glorifying God in His high calling of being a submissive wife is that submissiveness concerning wives is meant to be in everything that is holy. Again,
"18 Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord." Colossians 3:18
What is fitting in the Lord is spousal submission in anything that is not blatantly sin. This does not mean that wives do not submit if the husband is not perfect. It means that the wife is not required to submit in an area where a husband may command her to sin against God, or he commands her to passively allow him to sin against her, and against the law, by committing a criminal act of violence against her. The Christian wife is in the Lord, and being in the Lord, she is compelled by the Spirit to avoid sin. Aside from sin, then, all Christian wives are to be subject to their husbands no matter how dumb your husband is, or how nasty he is, or how verbally caustic his words are, (and I know that husbands can say some really horrible things); But no matter how foolish he is, or how prideful he is, or how selfish he is, or how weak he is, or how strong he is, Paul makes it clear,
"22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. ... 33 ... the wife must see to it that she respects her husband." Ephesians 5:22-33
What does it mean; "as to the Lord?"
This means that the husband is respected like the church respects Christ.
You say,
"But my husband is nothing like Christ."
God says,
It doesn't matter.
In your relationship with the Lord, when you want something, you ask the Lord for provision, don't you? This is part of the way He designed His relationship with us. If a wife has a request to make of her husband, she can ask. You can try to reason with your husband. But here is the point: If he firmly says that something is going to be a certain way, then he has the last word as the head of the household. This is why Paul says in the analogy of submission of the church to Christ,
"... so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything." Ephesians 5:24
@4 God wants wives to submit to their husbands in _____________________ that is not sin. (Ephesians 5:24)
For women, these kinds of mandates can be scary, right? When Paul says, "in everything" it seems so comprehensive, and in a certain way it is. It seems like wives can be forced to do something wrong because of their submission-helper-role. But again, we need to look at the main One who is being pointed to in the passage. For the wife to submit to her husband as unto the Lord, then this necessarily means to submit while abhorring and purposing to avoid sin. We are allowed to do things wrong and make mistakes in this life, but God is not telling us that we are allowed to sin. Isn't this how we all submit to the Lord in our actions? Of course it is. So, when Paul says that a wife must submit to her husband in everything, Paul is talking about being obedient to the fullest extent, because there is no other way to submit to Christ. But Paul also means to do this even though the husband is not perfect, and his decisions, and directives are not always perfect. But we draw the line at sin. Notice Titus 2,
"... encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, submitting to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored." Titus 2:5
No contingency is given that allows wives to be unloving, and un-submissive. But, by the same token, a wife will not love her husband, or be sensible, or pure, or kind to her husband if she dishonors God's word by actively participating in sin just because her husband wants her to sin. The point is that it is true love to abstain from sin. And it is also true love to submit to your imperfect man. Remember 1 Peter. He addresses proper relationships to immediate authorities. Peter starts with servants. He covers the whole arena of submission. Then he brings in wives being submissive. This is so key. I have been eagerly wanting to get to this part of the sermon because the way Peter presents this can only be seen from starting way back in chapter 2 and working forward to chapter 1. Notice that Peter says,
"Servants, be submissive to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are unreasonable. 19 For this finds favor, if for the sake of conscience toward God a person bears up under sorrows when suffering unjustly. 20 For what credit is there if, when you sin and are harshly treated, you endure it with patience? But if when you do what is right and suffer for it you patiently endure it, this finds favor with God." 1 Peter 2:18-20
Servants must submit to their masters with all respect--not partial respect--right? But notice that Peter says that submission is even required to masters who are unreasonable, not good, and are not gentle. How many of you realize that this describes a vast majority of husbands? According to the philosophies of the world, reasons to not submit would be because of the unreasonableness, ungoodness, and ungentleness of the person, right? Of course, wives are not meant to be slaves when they get married. We know this, but hold this context in your mind because Peter, by the Spirit, uses this as an analogy for wives in a moment. Peter is specifically addressing servants at this point, but what he says next in verse 19 can apply to all people--you, me, all Christians. What is it?
It finds favor for the sake of conscience toward God, when you bear up under sorrows when suffering unjustly.
Christians everywhere are always wondering what finds favor with God. This kind of submission is one thing that does. On the other hand, there is no credit when you suffer harsh treatment for sinning. All of this is important because it not only leads to the point about wives submitting, but it is part of Peter's big point. Peter continues,
"21 For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps. 22 He committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth; 23 and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously;" 1 Peter 2:21-23
@5 Jesus committed no ___________, nor was any deceit found in His mouth. (1 Peter 2:21-23)
All of this is counter cultural to what the world teaches. The calling for all of us (not just servants, or wives) is the purpose of doing what is right no matter what happens which includes suffering for doing what is right. As usual, Christ is our ultimate "example," and as usual, you can not argue with Christ. Actually, you can argue, but you will always lose. But think about our example. Christ was not deceitful. You should not be deceitful with your husband. While Jesus was being reviled, He did not revile in return. If your husband reviles you, (berates you) you should not revile in return. While suffering, your Lord uttered no threats. If we should suffer, God does not want us to utter threats. Jesus kept entrusting Himself to the Father who judges righteously. Christian wives should entrust themselves to God who judges righteously. Yes, marriage can be difficult mentally, emotionally, and physically. Yes, husbands are not perfect. Yes, some husbands are more difficult to live with than most people can possibly imagine. But God judges righteously. And so wives, you should entrust yourself to God so that you can fulfill your design as a helpmate in your marriage in spite of the failings of your husband. The point is that Christ is your pattern for doing this. Peter continues,
"24 and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed. 25 For you were continually straying like sheep, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Guardian of your souls." 1 Peter 2:24-25
@6 Christ Jesus bore our sins in His ________________ on the cross, so that we would die to sin and live to righteousness. (1 Peter 2:24)
We can do none of this on our own. We can not live to righteousness without the work of Christ in making us righteous. Beforehand none of us were submissive to God. We were all disobedient, unsubmissive, rebels. But now, in Christ, we have been reconciled to our Shepherd. Our Great Guardian has forgiven us of our sins. Now we are submissive to God. This is important because of what Peter says next. Please pay special attention. Peter says,
"3:1 In the same way, ..."
Make a note of this in the margin of your Bible. When Peter says "in the same way," Peter is pointing to all the submission teaching he has been giving where he started with servants. Then he moved to the example of Christ, and then to our reconciliation where we, as saved people, are no longer straying off, but are submissive ones who live to righteousness in our return to our Shepherd and Guardian. So, Peter says plainly,
"3:1 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, 2 as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. 3 Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; 4 but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God." 1 Peter 2:22-23, & 3:1-4
@7 God wants the adornment of godly wives to be the hidden person of the __________________, with the quality of a gentle and quiet spirit. (1 Peter 3:3-4)
Everything that Peter says here about wives submitting, and doing so even though their husbands are disobedient to the word of God, is all based upon the principles that he has been laying out by the Spirit. Peter has been talking about Christian ministry. Submission is ministry for Christian servants toward their masters. It was the ministry of Christ to the Father. It is the ministry of Christ that turns you and me into ministers. Wives, what is required from you in your ministry as your husband's helpmate, is submission, chastity, and respectful behavior, even though your husband may be a failure. It is the mission of submission. Again, this does not mean that wives have to submit to a husband's disobedience and participate in His sin. It means that you submit even though your husband sins. Peter goes on in his point, and now he refers back to all the godly women of old,
"5 For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; 6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him master, and you have become her children if you do what is right and do not fear anything that is frightening." 1 Peter 3:5-6
The point is that submission is the gorgeous adornment of godly women from the beginning. We have the biblical record. Don't look to the world to find it. The world preaches the opposite of this with gusto. What God says to do is act as the holy woman of the past. The way holy women who hoped in God acted in the past was that they adorned themselves with submission and the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit. This is the gold that God is looking for. A spirit that is coarse, and is grating, is not precious to God, and neither is it precious to your husband. The example that God gives, is Sarah, Abraham's wife.
What did Sarah do that made her glisten and shine like pure gold?
She obeyed Abraham, calling him "master." It is what we call Jesus. It is the Greek word kurios, which means both lord and master. Wives, listen to me: God wants you to become Sarah's child. He wants you to follow her example of godliness in submitting. This includes the example of calling her husband her master. People infected by the disease of feminism hate this. It grates their nerves into a fleshly frenzy. But it doesn't matter. God's example of the godly woman is that Sarah not only acted like her husband was her master, but she affirmed it by calling her husband by His role as her master.
I think that we see that submission is a given. We also see that it is to be as unto the Lord, in the Lord. This means we submit in all things that are not specifically sin, which would include not submitting to violent criminal assault of physical abuse. If a husband is trying to make his wife participate in sin, or if he is criminally abusing his wife by violently hurting her body in physical assault, then the wife needs to be able to go to another God ordained authority for intervention. According to the scriptures, God who is the highest authority who ordains all authorities, has ordained earthly governments to minister against the criminal activity of violence, Romans 13:1-5. God has also ordained elders in the church to be men who are ministers to oversee the saints in respect to sin problems. Pastors are meant to help minister to both the wife, and the husband, in these areas if they arise. The husband may not want His wife to go to another authority for intervention. The wife, in such cases, is not required to submit to the abusive husband who is requiring her to sin, or is being a sinful criminal in the way he is treating her. This is the example of Acts 5:27-29 and many other examples of godly men and women who suffer for doing what is right. As a pastor, I have seen some rare examples where non-submission was justified, but only because of sin:
{a}
There was a time when an unsaved husband wanted his wife to get involved with a sinful practice with him involving multiple sex partners. The wife came to me in distress because of what he wanted her to do. I told her to tell her husband that what he wanted to do was sin, and that God says that the wife is not to partake in the sin. Actually, I confronted the husband with this myself. Because it is a sin, she did not have to submit to him in that area.
{b}
I knew of a husband who wanted his pregnant wife to kill her baby in an abortion. She refused to submit to her husband's murderous desire because murdering unborn babies is sinful. Her husband threatened to leave, but she stood her ground by submitting to the Highest authority, and she was right to do so. She obeyed God rather than man.
{c}
I knew of a woman whose husband wanted her to tell lies on the witness stand in trial concerning a crime that he was accused of. She refused to lie because lying is a sin, and so she submitted to God.
{d}
Our church helped out a woman who fled another state because her husband had beat her so badly that he had broken bones all through her body. He almost killed her. Every time she would try to reconcile with him, he would later beat her to where she had to call the police. She finally fled. He kept demanding that she come back, but he was sinfully committing criminal actions against her. He was breaking the law of love, and he was breaking the law of the land. He was demanding that she submit to his sin. She was justified to get away from him while she continued to work with authorities to rescue their child from his custody.
I realize that these cases are rare, but they are real, and in such cases submitting to higher authorities above the authority of the sinning husband is justified.
This morning I have sought to lay out the Christian doctrine of glorifying God in His high calling of being a submissive wife. In doing so, we have used 4 passages of Scripture. Remember the first principle: Marriage is an ordination of God that He has designed. The Second principle is just as important: submissiveness concerning wives is not a man made mandate. It is a design mandate of God meant to complete the proper function of marriage. Always be mindful of the third principle: submissiveness concerning wives is not primarily meant for the man's sake, or to glorify man, but is primarily for God's sake, and is meant to glorify Him. Finally, I urge you to keep in mind the last principle we explored: submissiveness concerning wives is meant to be in everything that is not sin. All of these things are countercultural. All of these things are antifeminist. All of these things have to do with glorifying God in His high calling of being a submissive wife.
@1 God wants Christian wives to submit to their _________________. (Colossians 3:18, Ephesians 5:22)
@2 God says that marriage is when a man leaves his mother and father and joins to his _________________. (Genesis 2:18-24)
@3 Marriage is a mystery picture of Christ's relationship with the ______________. (Ephesians 5:31-32)
@4 God wants wives to submit to their husbands in _____________________ that is not sin. (Ephesians 5:24)
@5 Jesus committed no ___________, nor was any deceit found in His mouth. (1 Peter 2:21-23)
@6 Christ Jesus bore our sins in His ________________ on the cross, so that we would die to sin and live to righteousness. (1 Peter 2:24)
@7 God wants the adornment of godly wives to be the hidden person of the __________________, with the quality of a gentle and quiet spirit. (1 Peter 3:3-4)
