Fathering our children God's way has to do with who we are in Christ, manifesting the Paideia of the Lord to our children out of our own redeemed lives. Yes, the spotlight is on us fathers.

Fathering Our Children God's Way

Colossians 3:21

(Children's Sheet for Sermon Interaction is at bottom. Notes are throughout sermon)

Pastor Kerry Kinchen, Bridgeway Bible Church

Please turn to Colossians 3:21. Colossian 3:21 is our primary passage in our verse to verse study. We are also going to be using the parallel passage out of Ephesians 6:4. As you are turning to Colossians 3, I will remind us of our Colossians context. The Spirit has directed Paul to touch upon teaching wives in respect to submitting to their husbands; then to husbands loving their wives; then from there, to children being obedient to parents, and then to teaching slaves to obey masters; finally to masters in respect to their slaves. In 3:20, directly before our passage, Paul had addressed children specifically. Now Paul is addressing fathers. Let's read our passage now,

"21 Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart." Colossians 3:21

And Ephesians,

"4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." Ephesians 6:4

Let's prepare our hearts to learn from the preaching of God's word in this sermon titled,

Fathering Our Children God's Way
[prayer]

Getting into this, I want us to especially notice that Paul is not addressing mothers here in this very specific command not to do something that mothers can do. This is fascinating because we know that mothers can exasperate their children. Mothers can cause children to lose heart. Christian mothers are not immune from pushing, and poking, their children toward anger. Because of these facts, some people suggest that Paul is actually referring to both parents. Usually people who think this, will also point out that sometimes the Greek word for "father," which is pateres here in 3:21, was used as a kind of figure of speech to reference both parents. It is used that way in Hebrews 11 where we read that,

"Moses when he was born, was hidden for three months by his parents [pateron]," Hebrews 11:23

"Parents" in Hebrews 11:23, is translated from the same Greek word that Paul uses for "fathers" here. It seems possible that Paul could be meaning both parents in our passage, but contextually, a few glaring hints nudge us away from that theory. The immediate one we notice is that Paul has set a patterned flow that is unmistakable. In doing so, Paul just used the common word for "parents" when he told children to be obedient to their parents (Gk. goneis). This, and other considerations, point to the fact that Paul is concerned with the normal meaning as "fathers" here. Paul is talking to dads. So, let's think about this:

The child is expected to be obedient to parents according to the previous verse. But, yet, Paul singles out dads to not exasperate their children so that they will not lose heart. Paul is telling us dads to be the ones who are not to provoke our children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

There are probably numerous reasons for why the Spirit motivated Paul to do this. One reason is that fathers, as the heads over the household, are the ones who typically put forth the law of the household to children--especially in that culture. Another reason probably has to do with the tendency of fathers to be the rougher ones when it comes to disciplining, and directing, their children. Mothers, in the common (typical) sense, are generally more sensitive. It would make sense that Paul is addressing the broader norm. Exceptionally harsh fatherhood was a big problem in the world that these men were recently saved from. Something called the Patria Potestas existed as a matter of unquestioned acceptance in Roman culture. Patria Potestas is the Latin legal terminology that means:

"The power of the father."

What this meant, in practical application, was that the father had absolute power over his entire family. Legally, a father had the power to sell any member of his family into slavery if he wanted to. The father could make anyone in his family work in fields in chains if he desired. There are records that show that this happened. A father had the power, according to Patria Potestas, to inflict the death penalty on his own children. He could even mandate death without it being a penalty for a wrong doing. Such is the case, for example, when a child would be born, the child would be placed at the father's feet. If the father lifted up the child it meant that he decided that he or she should be kept. If he turned and walked away, then the child would be thrown away. The equivalent of "late term abortions" in the Roman world was to throw babies on dump piles, and on country roads. It was the parent's "right to choose" to do so. This was common. Sometimes infants would be abandoned in the forum in Rome where they would be collected by people who raised them to be slaves and prostitutes. A chilling letter, written by a husband to his wife that has been preserved from that time (1 B.C.), demonstrates the stark reality of this practice; It starts out,

""Hilarion to Alis his wife, heartiest greetings, and to my dear Berous and Appolinarion. Know that we are still even now in Alexandria. Do not worry if, when all others return, I remain in Alexandria. I beg and beseech you to take care of the little child, and, as soon as we receive wages, I will send them to you. If, good luck to you, you have a child, if it is a boy, let it live; if it is a girl, throw it away."--Hilarion to Alis his wife

In quick business like terms, this man operated in Patria Potestas as a matter of routine. This letter form Hilarion to his wife, is almost as chilling as the fact that legally, every single day, in the godless society of the lost world culture around us, baby murder "forms" and "applications," are filled out in abortuaries all over this land with the parents exuberantly anticipating the killing of their children as they sign their names on the dotted line. Now it is Matria Potestas--secular humanism's "power of the mother" where women think it is their "right" to commit "hate crimes" against babies. Legalized murder of babies in any society is more than a chilling reminder of the "hate crimes" that godless governments protect, and promote, and professional executioners profit from. Evidently, in that Roman society, the same kind of sinful disdain for human life existed in its own packages. At about the exact time that Jesus started His adult earthly ministry, Seneca the famous Roman orator wrote,

"We slaughter a fierce ox, we strangle a mad dog, we plunge the knife into the sickliest cattle, children who are born weak and deformed we drown."--Seneca

The sick deviant world-culture of our day does the same thing with its lust for infanticide. They don't say "throw [the baby] out," or "drown" the baby. Instead, they try to justify what they are doing by changing the name of the horrifying murder by calling it "an abortion," or something clinical sounding, like "a procedure." The Nazi concentration camp exterminators tried to reword their deviancy too, but rewording does not change the sick, freakish, love affair the lost world culture has with murdering babies. The main point is that in addressing fathers, Paul is speaking into an atmosphere where fathers tend toward harshness with children after they are born. Fathers had a full right to do whatever they desired to do. These things are true, but I want us to consider a foundational reason why Paul addresses fathers in the church:

Christian fathers bear a special responsibility for the moral and spiritual life of the family.

We Christian fathers are the head that represents Christ according to Ephesians 5. This is the foundation for us to father our children God's way. With this in mind, I want to cover four principles for us fathers from our texts. They will help us to be godly in our stewardship, and our relationship, with our children.

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The first principle for fathering our children God's way is that the Lord does not want us to exasperate our children.

The command is clear and straightforward,

"21 Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart." Colossians 3:21

@1 God wants fathers to act in such a way toward children so that they will not ________________ heart. Colossians 3:21

Since children were just told that they must obey us parents, and we Christian parents in the church are aware of this mandate, then think about how we could misuse this teaching. A father could try to justify abusiveness from what Paul just said in light of the culture, this passage, and the man's personality quirks. To keep this from happening, the Spirit is telling us that the manner of Christ according to the great law of love, is to treat our children the way Christ treats us. To be more specific, God wants us to treat our children in such a way that they will feel safe, and secure, in a spiritual atmosphere. We are to treat them in such a way that there is no doubt that they know that they are experiencing the love of Christ. It is the opposite of doing lost-world-culture things that push the child to think that you do not like the child or value the child like Christ likes, loves, and values you. Those things of the lost world culture are the things that exasperate. Battling this requires that we manifest the Spirit that is in us, out of us, to our own children on a consistent basis. In this way, your own security in Christ is extended to your child. This is going to be the big teaching in this sermon. I am hoping we fathers get the magnitude of this important fact. The greatest parenting teaching anywhere is that:

We must consistently manifest the Spirit that is in us, out of us, to our own children.

This requires godly Spirit-generated wisdom that is according to the word of God--the Bible. So-called "parental instincts" won't do it. Neither will some nebulous mystical idea that you will just supernaturally treat your children the right way because you "sense" the Holy Spirit talking to you. The recorded revelation of God must dictate how we act and think, and it goes to even how we analyze how our children act and think. For example, the word of God shows us that in some very important respects, there is pain, and irritation, that is good for us. Not all of it results in exasperation and losing heart. In fact, the word of God shows us that the testing of our faith produces endurance. God tells us to rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that "suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope" and it is all in God, Romans 5:3-4. God tells us that all who desire to live Godly in Christ Jesus, will be persecuted, 2 Timothy 3:12. The word of God tells us to count it all joy when we experience it, James 1:2-3. In other words, we Christian fathers are expected to experience things that can be painful and irritate us, but we are directed by God to understand these things according to His Spirit. In a similar way, we are going to irritate our children in certain instances that have to do with being a good parent. When this happens, it needs to happen from the love of God, in love for our children. Take for example, when a child wants to be ungodly. Or, think about when a child wants to spend money on something that we do not think is a wise and prudent use of resources. There are a lot of examples. The point is that when you lay down the rules, and you say "no" to something that the child wants to do, out of true concern motivated by real love, then a certain level of irritation may come. Sometimes there is pain too. Follow what I am saying:

This kind of discomfort to your child is necessary for the growth process of your child, where the child gains edification in the heart rather than losing heart.

But the point is that we are the Christian fathers, and according to proper discipleship, we expect our heavenly Father to bring irritation to our own flesh in key areas of our lives for our growth. Often God will thwart your plans that are not in accord with His. He is not doing this with the purpose of exasperating you. He does it for your good, where he expects you not to be exasperated, but to react properly in faith that you are in the grace place. The point is that God does it for your growth. He also does it for His glory. Because we know God, we know that no matter how frustrated and exasperated we may get in our initial reactions, ultimately, His will is the best. The point is that we know that God is not playing games with us. We understand that He is not treating us with gracelessness. We know He is not being malicious. Our own children need to know this about us too. We know that our Father in heaven molds us in these ways, and protects us in these ways, because He loves us. We know that in His love, He is treating us in the wisest manner to sharpen our faith and mature us spiritually. Sometimes the process is really tough, isn't it? Keeping this in mind, we need to ask ourselves,

"What do Christian fathers do from a carnal way of thinking, that exasperates children?"

"What do Christian fathers do that spurns children on toward rebellion?"

As we think about these questions, I am not wanting us to look at a list that we check off as a group of items to avoid. I am really wanting us to stick with a core issue this morning. What I mean is that we need to consider one of the biggest things that a Christian father can do to exasperate his children in the way that our passage is warning against, which is the huge way fathers carnally motivate their children to rebel and be defensive. What is it? It is really not very deep, yet it is so extremely profound. Make a note of this somewhere because it is so immensely important:

· It is to simply fail to be serious about spiritual things.

That's it.

If you want to exasperate your child faster than anything, then put Christ on the shelf in your life, instead of showing that your thirsting ambition is to manifest Him in your actions and attitude. I did not say you have to be perfect. Nobody is perfect except Christ. I said to be demonstrating a thirsting ambition to manifest Christ. If you claim to be a Christian, and yet you act like, Christ's Kingdom, His way, His church, His truths, and His ambitions are secondary, then you are doing everything you need to do to exasperate your child. The road to exasperating everyone around you, and not just your children, (but your wife too), is to claim the name of Christ branded on your heart, and then live your life where you manifest selfishness, fleeting ambitions, anger, pride, spiritual ambivalence, and goals that glorify the temporal fading lost world culture. When we do not consistently show intense interest in the the things of "the faith," and express that there is joy in our lives because we have a living relationship with Christ in salvation, then our children are being taught these same things from us. Do you see the principle?

The spotlight is on us fathers.

On the other hand, if we are demonstrating the Holy Spirit, by demonstrating that we respect God's word, and are seeking to live by the word, then this becomes what is reflected in the spotlight. What happens is that we are teaching the word as a living sermon illustration to our children. One huge area in all of this is grace. Think about your typical interaction with your children. Think about your expectations. Think about how you react when they fail.

Are you manifesting the same grace of Christ that Christ manifests for you each and every moment?

In the church, you would call a graceless preacher, "a legalistic, oppressive man, who does not build up in Christ," right?

You would call the kind of teacher who does not respect God's word, and seek to live by it, a hypocrite, wouldn't you?

If the representative of Christ in the family--the father--is teaching with His life and actions that the word of God is essentially meaningless in respect to his own self, then this is what the child learns about the word of God.

Who cares if we claim that God's word is meaningful to us?

The proof is in our practice. Wishy washy life actions of fathers exasperate children quicker than anything. This is why it is so important for us to recognize that Spirit driven doctrine, as doctrine that drives your actions, is security. It brings life to your children. It builds up their faith. It keeps them from being confused. It nurtures growth. It is pure ministry. Think about how many Christian children harbor exasperation, and go through each day saying,

"My dad is a hypocrite. Why should I listen to him?"

Can you imagine how many children have fathers who claim to be Christian, and the child is thinking,

"I am not really sure my dad is saved."

The number of children being raised in Christian families in our generation who think this way is probably beyond imagination. We could be defensive and say,

"How dare a child say that. That insolent child is the one who doesn't have grace."

We could retaliate, and say,

"How dare a child say that. God says in Colossians 3:21 for children to obey their parents."

We can say a lot of things, and base it on the word of God. What we need to recognize is what the Spirit is saying from His word this morning. We fathers are the spiritual leaders in our families. Because of this, God holds us responsible whenever we exasperate our children because we keep hiding Christ in us. Right now, at verse 21, the Spirit is dealing with Fathers in the text. The point is that the way we fathers live, in respect to handling the doctrines and precepts of Christianity, is the big parenting technique. Christians, in our day, absolutely must realize that living the Scripture like it is part of them is stronger than quoting the same Scripture when they act like they don't believe it applies to all the various areas of their life. It is exasperating to children to see empty religion. Just visiting church a few hours each week doesn't do it. What is soothing, and nurturing, and teaches stability, is to manifest the living love of Christ as part of our living love for Christ. A youth pastor is not going to do this job for you. You are the one who is called to do this job for God, your child, and yourself, or it isn't going to happen. Children want to be loved biblically by their father and they want to see it in all ways--not just providing a roof over their heads and a place to eat at the table. But children are looking at the whole package. When fathers do not show living love for the body, and don't respect the people of a local church, then their children see this. When fathers do not show living love for their wife, and treat her gently and kindly in an understanding manner like a weaker vessel, then their children see this too. They are keeping a record of what we do and how we are. Exasperation comes from record keeping, and record keeping comes from what they experience. Whenever you show more lustful love for the television, or for the internet, or for your hobbies, and your own personal desires, than for the constant living love nurture of Christ where that same love goes out to your family, then, of course, your children get exasperated. Your life is their experience, and it is their record:

If a pastor of a church consistently treated you that way, don't you think you would become exasperated to?

You would get tired of it very quickly, wouldn't you?

Would you listen anymore?

Would you stick around anymore?

The remedy for this, is humble Christlike self sacrifice, where we lay down our lives for our children every single day, and the best way to do this is to lay your life down for Christ according to what the Spirit has been urging us to do as His fruit. What are the fruits of the Spirit?

"the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law." Galatians 5:22-23

@2 The ____________ of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control." Galatians 5:22-23

It is living, real, fruit. It is where our kids think,

"My dad is a living manifestation of love."

"He loves Christ and he loves me."

"My dad doesn't give me everything I want, but he is the greatest dad in the world!"

God has called all of us dads to be the greatest dads in the world. The way we accomplish this is with the fruit. Our children experience real "joy-fruit" when they know that you know that they are awesome gifts from God no matter how bothersome they seem to be; It is also "peace-fruit," where you are resting in Christ and His grace, and this rest and grace is so real that it is felt by your child. Yes, it is where they "feel" the rest and grace coming from you like arms that hug, and hold, and heal.

Is your relationship with your children one in which they would describe it as grace and peace?

It is also "patience-fruit" because patience is a pure manifestation of what God does with us in His Son.

Aren't you glad your Father in heaven is patient with you?

Patience destroys your own exasperation. It kills legalism. It annihilates the strict retaliation of a graceless kind of standard bearing that requires perfection. It shows your child that you care enough to work through whatever mess they may have made of their own selves, or of others; and yes, even of you. It is also "kindness-fruit." It is amazing how many Christian parents think that this fruit of the Spirit is great for how to act toward the rest of the members of the body, or with their acquaintances, but when it comes to their own children, they somehow think it is optional. Your kindness to your child will do more to eradicate exasperation than a million attempts to come back and erase your mistakes. "Goodness" is that fruit which is the righteousness of Christ coming out of you. It is more than holy indignation, and harping on lists of do's and don'ts, rules, and rebukes. It is living out the goodness that you already are, so that when you teach principles of goodness, your child sees it as a consistent flow of your daily actions and ambition. Finally, there is that big fruit that covers so much of this. It is "self control." If you are constantly reacting, and flying off the handle with your child, then your child gets the wrecking result. It is not going to be the result you thought you were going to bring either. You get exasperation. You get losing heart. There is no law of exasperation that can bring its jurisdiction in to subdue the fruits of the Spirit. But the Law of Christ comes in and subdues exasperation at the heart level; starting with us first, dads. What our children need to see is Christ in us as our hope of glory, and their hope of glory too. Our children need to touch the glory that touches you. Jesus said,

"Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, ..." Matthew 19:14

Your children want to come to you and when they do, do you know what they want?

They want to be held in the arms of Jesus!

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We need to abide in these things as we consider the second principle which is closely related to the first one,

"4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, ..." Ephesians 6:4

@3 God wants fathers to bring up children in the love and discipline of the Lord, not provoking them to _________________. Ephesians 6:4

What I am wanting to cover for our edification on this one is that the same manifestations of the Spirit apply. The big area that I want us to think about in respect to provoking is the arena of discipline. I want us to ask ourselves a question, but I want us to come at it from another angle. I want us to be clear minded, sober, and candid, in assessing whether we may be someone who is a provoker, who pokes our children to a point of being angry; but, let's ask from our child's viewpoint. Let's search ourselves like this:

Does my child see me as a provoker who pokes him or her to a point of being angry?

There is a spiral that fathers can carnally get into where they begin to do this with their children. The fathers may not see it. But let's be real--their children see it. Basically, when fathers discipline children, and correct them, they can either do so from the ways of the world which are the ways of the old man, or they can do so governed by the Spirit. In carnal mindedness, fathers can do a couple of detrimental things: One is that they either do not care that they are provoking their children to the point of anger; or the other is that they are consciously pushing their children, and edging them on because the father is appeasing an inner retaliation toward their kids where the flesh delights in making others angry. This needs to be watched very closely, and the reason is because of our power as fathers. A father can easily seek to justify his actions of discipline and correction by saying that he is basing it upon a higher principle. In doing so, he can try to justify intentional provoking of his children to be angry. The Law of love (manifested in the fruits of the Spirit) guards us to assure that this is not our inward motivation. Not only do our children receive this godly motivation as a blessing when it comes from us, but they also witness it without confusion. Our children may be angry with us when we stick with godly principles in governing our households, but the point is that we have not purposely sought to provoke them to anger. Rather we have purposely sought to promote what is right.

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This leads us to consider the third principle that will help us to be godly in our relationship with our children. It is the immediate relational goal concerning the emotional, and mental state-of-being, of our children. The goal is to recognize what we are trying to accomplish in our self control in respect to our children's inner self. It is

"... so that they will not lose heart." Colossians 3:21

To lose heart is to become emotionally and mentally broken and hopelessly discouraged. There are people who have lost heart, and are emotionally and mentally broken and hopelessly discouraged in the kinds of churches that have quit focusing upon Christ. In the church-type of our families, we do not want our child to be discouraged emotionally and mentally because of the way we act according to our own spiritual authority. We want our children to gain, and maintain. To be edified. To be built up. We want them to experience positive growth, in all respects, under our nurture, and we want it to continue as much as it depends upon us. Let's think about this a moment before we go to the fourth and final principle. Let's think about the carnal way we can seek to accomplish this kind of thing. Think about how easy it is when we are not wanting our children to lose heart, where, for example, we can try to build them up by giving them all kinds of things that they want that they think they need. This is dangerous because we know that often times what our children's want is not necessarily what they need, right? Our children may have lost heart, and at the same time they may be asking you why you are not buying them all the latest gadgets and things that the neighbors have. We may think that we are causing them to lose heart even more, and so we give in and buy those things thinking that we are filling the proper void that shows our love and builds them up. But this is the temporal trap that the world gets caught up in. It is based upon the false premise that to love someone, or to fix problems, the strategy is to simply provide the band-aide of giving all kinds of things to fill every desire of the heart, merely because they are desires, and those desires seem, to a certain extent, like there is nothing wrong with them. But this strategy falls short because it is not focused upon the proper area of ministry, and the proper area of ministry needs more than a band-aide. It is heart surgery, where you are ministering to the aspect of the heart concerning why the desire is there, and why there is such a drastic reaction from the child's heart when the child doesn't get the other things that they want. The heart-nurture that the child really needs, is what is important. Instead of putting a band-aid on a child's heart by giving him all the other desires of his heart, we need to bring nourishment, growth, and healing to the heart in a real Christ-centered relationship of love manifested as the fruits of the Spirit. So, the principle here is that our big focus is to give our children what God wants which is real ministry to their hearts. This leads us to consider the last principle which is very important for building up the heart of our children.

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The fourth, and final principle is to nurture our children according to God's word as a comprehensive blueprint for their upbringing. This is our long term overarching goal:

"... but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." Ephesians 6:4

Here in this Ephesians 6 verse, Paul uses an important Greek word for the overall technique of raising children.

He says,

"Bring them up in the Paideia of the Lord"

The Greek verb Paideia, means "to rear a child." It is the same word used in Hebrews 12:5-11 of training or disciplining. To the Romans of the time, this word had a specific meaning. It meant the robust training, instruction, and learning, of the whole child. They used the word to describe comprehensive child raising that encompassed a broad spectrum of disciplines. It meant everything from the teaching of grammar; logic; and dialectic, (trivium) to the arts, ethics, philosophy, the gymnasiums, and daily living in Roman society. There are many ways that the Spirit wants us to bring this into our own lives in discipleship. There is quite a bit of teaching that can be done on this, and there are many avenues we can take in looking at being grounded in the doctrines and precepts of the faith; but I want us all to think about that big foundation that we really must establish as the main concern. It is too easy to get sidetracked. We need to stick to the the primary way the Spirit wants this brought into our own lives as the Christian trainers of the Paideia of our children. Again, it is to look at ourselves as being primarily the living embodiment of the biggest lesson plan in this schooling method. We must daily remind ourselves that we Christian fathers really, truly, are the spiritual heads of our family that direct its course. Our lives, as the pastors in our households, must be pointing to our Father in heaven. We think about this, and we can ask ourselves:

What am I teaching my son about faith in God?

Am I teaching my child to trust in God when everything around me is falling apart?

Or, am I teaching my child to trust in the lost world culture for happiness?

Am I teaching my child to trust in money?

Am I teaching my child to believe the Bible no matter how much it gets attacked?

Or, am I teaching my child to consider compromising on certain morals, on scientific theories, on doctrines, because the ignorant world says the Bible is wrong, or that Christians are ignorant?

Am I teaching my child that God is the answer to all the problems that we perceive, or don't perceive, because God is the One holds the world in the palm of His hand?

Or, am I teaching my child that man's answers to man's perceived problems is more relevant--more real in our day to day activities?

Am I teaching my children that every single aspect of God's will (His word) is relevant, even that aspect that some Christians don't care about?

Am I teaching my children to have the ambitions of Christ?

Am I teaching my children that my wife is God's gift to me whose value is far greater to me than possessions?

Do my children see that God is more important to me than my hobbies, or living in the internet, or hanging out with the guys?

Do they see that studying God's word, living God's word, and being committed to a local body of Christ is as necessary as food, and sleep?

If we are not teaching our children that our faith, and our relationship, with God is real, tangible, importance, then we are teaching them the way of the godless world culture that is doomed to failure, misery, and damnation. If that is the case, then we are teaching them that our failed lives also fail--and our Paideia is setting them up for failure. Living out God's word for Paideia is to show that we work to the best of our abilities expecting success, but also being ready for failure, and when failures come, we keep our eyes on the Lord that we should have been looking to as we were striving for success to begin with. To be successful is to be glorifying God in all we do, even in the midst of what looks like failures. The most important strategy for rearing children is to not only become a new man in Christ, but to act out the new man in Christ each day in reflection of the Paideia our father in heaven. We read in Romans,

"Any one who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to Him ... All who are led by the Spirit of God are the sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of sonship. When we cry, "Abba! Father!" it is the Spirit Himself bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God." Romans 8:9, 14-15

@4 In Christ Jesus, we receive the Spirit of sonship in grace through faith, and so we call God our __________________. Romans 8:9, 14-15

We are Sons because Christ is God's Son; and we are in His body spiritually. The Paideia of God is to manifest the Son. What I am getting at with this, if you will notice, is that I am not listing a huge syllabus of all kinds of things to teach our children. I am pressing us to understand what the Spirit wants us to understand in a stark way:

Be the Christian father who expresses the love and discipline of the Lord in yourself, out of yourself, by teaching the Bible to your children, and living the Bible to your children.

I hope that all of us fathers have been encouraged this morning with these foundational principles. It is easy to follow the patterns and philosophies of the world in respect to our relationships with our children. The Spirit is directing us to be more than friendly. We have a much higher call than that. We, as Christian fathers, bear a special responsibility for the moral and spiritual life of the family. As the head in our families, we are the spiritual leaders. Be remembering what the Spirit is telling us is the pattern for fathering our children God's way. The Lord does not want us to exasperate our children spiritually. Instead, God wants your security in Christ to bring security to your child. The greatest parenting teaching in the world is to manifest the Spirit that is in us, out to our own children. This is how we wash away tendencies to exasperate our children through carnal actions. Be mindful that one of the biggest things that we Christian fathers can do to exasperate our children is to simply fail to be serious about spiritual things. We need to live the word in bearing the fruits of the Spirit. Be what you preach. Remember the second principle. Do not be a provoker, who pokes your child to a point of being angry. We should seek to build up in our disciplinary actions. We should never be trying to tear down. Let's not use Bible verses to support our own bad attitudes either. The third principle is strong. Our immediate relational goal is the importance of the emotional and mental state of being of our children. We do not want them to "lose heart," but rather, "to gain, and maintain heart" under our stewardship. We don't do this by giving them everything they want. We do this by giving them what God wants, which is ministry to the heart. Finally, we must be about nurturing our children according to God's Bible school. We should always consider ourselves as being a living embodiment of the big lesson plan. It all comes back to our responsibility as dads. It is our own practice of what we preach. As the pastor-fathers in our households, we must constantly point to our perfect Father in heaven. His character, His will, His way, and His precepts are what we are to reflect out of our devotion to Him. In this way, we will father our children God's way. Amen

@1 God wants fathers to act in such a way toward children so that they will not ________________ heart. Colossians 3:21
@2 The ____________ of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control." Galatians 5:22-23
@3 God wants fathers to bring up children in the love and discipline of the Lord, not provoking them to _________________. Ephesians 6:4
@4 In Christ Jesus, we receive the Spirit of sonship in grace through faith, and so we call God our __________________. Romans 8:9, 14-15