The words I speak really do describe who I really am.

"Is it My Ambition to Keep From Grieving the Holy Spirit?" part d

Subtitled: "The Words I Speak Describe Who I Really Am."

Ephesians 4:25-32 d

Pastor Kerry Kinchen, Bridgeway Bible Church

Please turn to Ephesians 4:25-32. Ephesians 4:25-32. We have been in chapter 4 of Ephesians the last few weeks, and we have been examining various ways that we can grieve the Holy Spirit. I know that it comes as a surprise to a lot of Christians to hear that we can grieve the Holy Spirit, but we can. So, we have been learning how this happens. Also, we have been learning how not to grieve the Holy Spirit. As we approach our passage this morning, I think of the old adage, Loose lips sink ships. The saying is a warning about what can happen when we do not control our mouths. How many of you recognize that loose lips can destroy other things too? Loose lips are like hinges to an unguarded door that let out some of the most offensive thoughts that dwell within the heart. Loose lips, in this respect, don't build up. They damage. They damage relationships. They damage the character of others. And they damage the good opinion of others concerning your own character. But, there are times when our lips can build up. What I mean is that we can be instrumental in resurrecting, and restoring, damaged, sunken, derelicts that have been hurt, and are hurting. Our words can be messengers of healing. They can be messengers of correction, proper doctrine, and bonding agents to bring about the unity between us. When we speak this way, we are pleasing to the Holy Spirit. In our passage, we find that Paul is concerned with some of these things. Let us read now, starting in verse 22, where Paul says,

"... in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, 23 and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, 24 and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth. 25 Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, because we are members of one another. 26 Be angry, and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on the cause of your anger, 27 and do not give the devil an opportunity. 28 He who steals must steal no longer; but rather he must labor, performing with his own hands what is good, so that he will have something to share with one who has need. 29 Let no unwholesome [corrupt, rotten, evil, bad] word proceed from your mouth, but only such as is good for building up according to the need, so that it will give grace to those who hear. 30 Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." Ephesians 4:25-32

Please prepare your heart for the sacred preaching of the word of God, in this sermon titled,

"Is it My Ambition to Keep From grieving the Holy Spirit? part d"

Subtitled: "The Words I Speak Describe Who I Really Am."
[prayer]

In looking at this text and recognizing that we have the constant urging by the Holy Spirit to throw off the old man in respect to the futility of the Gentile mind, and we are to make it our ambition to keep from grieving the Holy Spirit. I want us to consider pertinent revelations from James that really kick start where we are going this morning. James gives us some food for thought that we need to keep in mind, as we consider that the words you speak are describing who you really are, when James says,

"1 Let not many of you become teachers, my brothers, knowing that as such we will incur a stricter judgment." James 3:1

OK, pausing for a moment, I want us all to ask ourselves why we incur a stricter judgment when we start to teach? James is talking about acting as a teacher who is teaching things concerning the word of God. Certainly, the answer is that we are dealing with doctrines of what God calls the truth. When we teach, and we teach what we think is the truth, and it is not God's truth, then our loose lips are teaching false doctrine. It is that simple, and yet it is so important. But, I want us to go forward to where James is going with this commandment to you and me. We desperately need to understand this, and we need to ask ourselves some more questions: We need to ask ourselves,

"What exactly is the action behind teaching?"

Then after we identify what it is, we need to ask,

"Why is the action part of why we need to be careful?"

The stricter judgment that we get for being teachers, is the big consequence isn't it? But, what we want to know is, what is the consequential thing? It is the thing that James is talking about that leads to the ultimate consequence of a stricter judgment. We need to know, because we want to heed the warning--right? James goes on and he says,

"2 For we all stumble in many ways."

What James means is that we are all prone to making mistakes, but not only that, we are all prone to purposeful, intentional, sinning, which isn't a mistake. Purposeful sin is calculated stumbling--it's like an actor falling where he is supposed to fall according to the script. Purposeful stumbling is when you sin according to the script that you wanted to do. So, we know that there are many ways you and I can stumble, and we all manifest various ways in our own lives. So here is the point; when someone decides to teach, thus becoming a teacher, then there is the very real, and present, danger that the person can stumble in teaching a mistaken belief. Follow me because this is so important. The danger is there, even in teaching an error in sin simply because the person, in self deception, wants to prove their doctrine to others. So, what they do is they build their false doctrine through proof texting a pretext out of context with shoddy interpretational means concerning the text. Or, they just blame the Holy Spirit. In our day, in particular, we have the danger of Post Modernism to influence us. How many of you know what Post Modernism is? Post modernism is where one's feelings about something are the criteria for decisions for about what is right, and true. Post modernism has, as it fertilizer, the pretentious silliness of the oft spouted philosophy:

What is true for you is your truth, and what is true for me is my truth.

But, what if I say that my truth is that you must agree with my truth, and you disagree with me? Then you have disagreed with your own philosophy because you are saying my truth is not really true; thus exposing your philosophy for the foolishness that it is. Or, there is the post modern incoherence that we can often find people self assuredly piping:

Truth is relative.

or

No one can really define truth.

And so according to the futility of the Gentile mind, they once again shame themselves by describing truth in unrelative terms, and by making statements about truth that are supposed to be truthful definitions--definitions they assert are true. This is more than foolishness. This is dangerous stuff, because when you combine this with religious talk, you have chaos. Multitudes of philosophies, personal opinions, and so called felt needs, are falsely blamed on the catastrophic cliche';

"The Holy Spirit is leading me to believe this way, and to teach this way."

It is a shameful comment on just how prevalent the disease of the postmodern loose lip is becoming in the church today. They are sinning, and yet they may even be claiming the whole time that they are teaching to counter sin, or to attain to a higher level of spirituality. Make no mistake about it, such a person has set themselves up to incur a stricter judgment. Now, this is giving us a little bit more of a picture concerning the consequential actions that lead to the big consequence. The consequential action is the big issue, and so let us continue reading to get at the issue, where James says,

"If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well."

Now we are getting at the root of the problem. The issue of being judged more strictly, really does have to do with what you say, doesn't it? The issue is your words. So, the warning is that we can easily stumble in what we say, because we are not yet completely perfect, and so we continue to read,

"3 Now if we put the bits into the horses' mouths so that they will obey us, we direct their entire body as well. 4 Look at the ships also, though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, are still directed by a very small rudder wherever the inclination of the pilot desires. 5 So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things. See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire! 6 And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell. 7 For every species of beasts and birds, of reptiles and creatures of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by the human race. 8 But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. 9 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; 10 from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be this way. 11 Does a fountain send out from the same opening both fresh and bitter water? 12 Can a fig tree, my brothers, produce olives, or a vine produce figs? Nor can salt water produce fresh."

James is describing something we can all relate to. Our tongues are our main concern aren't they?

"... the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things. See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire! [It's a pyromaniac!] 6 And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell."

Remember our subtitle this morning:

"The words I speak describe who I really am."

OK, now keep James' Holy Spirit inspired words in mind, and remember, Paul says, back at the beginning of our Ephesians chapter under study, that God has given people-gifts to the church so that we will be equipped to build each other up. Remember the people-gifts--they are the ministers who speak forth words. Apostles and prophets were sent out to speak in establishing the church. Evangelists were sent out to speak, and evangelists today do the same thing. Pastors, who are teachers, speak from the body, to the body, to build up the body. What I am doing for you, in my service to God right now, demonstrates this principle. Speaking is foundational to where Paul is coming from in these passages. A few verses later, in verse 26, Paul says to quit lying, and speak truth with your neighbor. Later; put away dirty language and silly talk kind of joking around. Sandwiched in between these, is our big text where Paul commands again concerning speaking. He says,

"29 Let no unwholesome [corrupt, rotten, evil, bad] word proceed from your mouth, but only such as is good for building up according to the need, so that it will give grace to those who hear."

Right here is the primary text I am preaching from. This brings me to ask two more important questions this morning. They form the backbone of how I want us to be edified by this sermon. Let's ask ourselves these questions:

Am I speaking wholesome words that build up?

Or let me put it this way,

Am I making it my ambition--my objective--my goal-- to speak wholesome words that build up according to people's needs by giving biblically defined grace to those who hear?

In answering these questions, let us look at the first part of Paul's exhortation,

"29 Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth,"

There are perhaps an endless number of ways that we can speak unwholesome words to each other. And we know that these kinds of words produce bad results in those who hear them. Intuitively, we know a lot about what Paul is talking about. Paul is talking about speech that tears down rather than builds up. There is something inherently destructive about this kind of language. It is foul language. Think of the categories:

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One type of unwholesome language is called profanity. Encarta dictionary defines profanity as,

"... a word or phrase that shows disrespect for God."--Encarta Dictionary

Immediately we would agree that showing disrespect for God is something that should never come out of our mouths, but how many times have we stopped to deeply analyze, and consider, the various ways we show disrespect for God in our words? Remember what James says concerning the tongue;

"... it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. 9 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God;"

This is a way we profane God--whenever we curse people who have been made in His likeness. This whole principle finds it's fullness in the New Covenant, where each of us inside the Body of Christ are created in His likeness in our salvation. Remember what happened to Paul when he was unsaved. He spoke out against people who were created in the likeness of Christ, Acts: 1

"1 Now Saul, still breathing threats and murder against the students of the Lord ..." Acts 9:1

Breathing threats, and murder, is profanity, and notice what Saul's threatenings were directed at;--against the students of the Lord, but listen to what Jesus said to Saul three verses later,

"4 and he [Saul] fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to him, 'Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?' 5 And he [Saul] said, 'Who are You, Lord?' And He said, 'I am Jesus whom you are persecuting,'" Acts 9:1; 4-5

OK, stay with me, because the principle is that in breathing threats and murder against the students of the Lord, the deadly poison of profane language shows disrespect for God when we curse people who have been made in His likeness through the miracle that comes through the sacrificed and risen Christ. In a sense, we are persecuting Him. Folks, this is a vitally crucial principle that we must learn and respect before we open our mouths to speak. To speak unwholesome, foul, bad language against a brother or sister in Christ is to speak against the body of Christ, and folks, it is a shame that many Christians act like this sinful poison does not grieve the Holy Spirit. But it does, so you and I need to tame our wild tongues, and bring them under subjection to that same Holy Spirit. So, we see that profanity goes a lot further, and deeper, in the body of Christ than putting it in the category of certain words in a list of words that sound bad. But, those kinds of words exist, and they are unwholesome.

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There are words that describe body functions that are used in sentences like slang words. They describe sexual acts. They are unsettling words that are meant to make a big impact on people in conversation. They are called vulgar words, or crude words. The main thing to consider about such words is that they are unwholesome. They are foul. Their main identification marker that makes them stick out as being dirty and corrupt is that they do not build up. They tear down!

There is a pastor who was, not too long ago, an immature pastor in Washington state. He had fallen into the cultural trap of walking according to the futility of the Gentile mind. He was once a leader in the downgraded church rebellion called "emergent." Now he says he is "emerging." He used to be called the cussing pastor. He used unwholesome language in the name of preaching that is pretentiously meant to build up the body of Christ. He also used it in his books. People had left his church in offense at his unwholesome language that God warns against. Huge numbers of Christian leaders condemned his books because of his language. He has since repented of all of that, but his previous actions demonstrate, in a stark manner, why Christians, and in particular, why a Pastor who must be beyond reproach, should not let unwholesome words come from their mouths. People who practice such things need to take the scriptures more seriously

"1 Let not many of you become teachers, my brothers, knowing that as such we will incur a stricter judgment."

"29 Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, ..."

Or as Paul says in the next chapter,

"there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, ..." Ephesians 5:4

Whenever someone, who is a proclaimed Christian, spews dirty, unwholesome, language, what happens is that the person loses the respect of other members of the body of Christ. What happens is that the body of Christ realizes that God is saying to let none of that garbage come out of our mouths, and so when we hear this kind of language, we sense that we are hearing words that come from the foolish futility of the Gentile mind, and we are correct. Such language grieves the Holy Spirit, and so we recognize that righteousness is not being put on, but that the old man is being worn out, and so we notice a downgrade occurring. It is a downgrade that brings the church down to a low dirty diaper standard of spiritual immaturity. Foul language does not build up to a high standard of excellence to the fullness of the stature of a mature man in Ephesians 4:13. Rather, it keeps us in the foolishness of the futile Gentile mind. It is a demonstration of a lack of wisdom, and a lack of a sound mind that is befitting of a true Pastor. Unfortunately, babes in Christ, who are in need of solid discipleship in a society that is stuck in cultural syncretism, (which simply means to put the lost world culture on an equal level of importance with Christ) are being taught by immature men, that such language is cool, hip, and pridefully relevant; but it is not, and it shames the body of Christ. OK, this leads us to another thing we need to consider.

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We need to take a look at the category of cuss words. According to the etymological dictionary, cuss is a slight linguistic alteration of the word, "curse." Curse words are closely related to profanity. When someone interjects in a fit, God damn, what the person is saying is that they want God to curse something, or someone. What is often said, is God damn it, or God damn you, them, her, or him. We need to realize that this is one of the most hateful statements that can be made. It is meant to wish the most horrible fate upon someone that can be imagined. It is also profane. Further, it is profane because it pretentiously supposes that the great judge of the universe does the bidding of mere mortals. Whether it is pretentious or not, it is a wish that is based upon witchcraft, because it is the language of trying to direct God. It is profane if it is uttered for any member of the body of Christ, and it grieves the Holy Spirit. Sometimes people will say, Go to hell. They are cursing.

I remember reading last month about something that Saddam Husein said just moments before he died and went to hell. With the rope around his neck, clutching the pagan book called the Quran, and with just a few moments of earthly life left to experience, he said to those who were executing him, "Go to hell." His last words, before facing the judgment throne of Yahweh, were profane cursings. Unlike when the Bible explains that people who reject Christ are going to hell, when a Christian uses the term as an assault upon someone, as if they are the one damning the person by their words, then it is profanity in its basest form. It is sin, and we should not let such things come from our mouths!

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This leads us to consider put downs. A put down is a self explanatory word. Notice that it is the opposite of building up. Put downs are words and phrases that are meant to hurt, and destroy, people. Put downs don't strengthen and bring grace to the the listener. So the reality is that a put down is a tear down. I want us to analyze two aspects of put downs that we can identify. We need to identify them, and then we need to check our own words upon these two aspects:

1) is that there are put downs that are based upon falsehood.

2) there are put downs that are based upon a truth, but at the sake of the rest of the story.

Let me tell you what I mean: Put downs based upon falsehood are usually easy to recognize, so they are easy to check. If you tell a lie about someone, then you are putting them down based upon falsehood. There are subtle ways to do this. A put down that is based upon falsehood can be something like a slur statement made to someone, like, for example,

you must be stupid because you ask so many questions.

It is a put down, and it is based upon a logical fallacy. Smart people may ask more questions than others because of the very reason that they are smart. The point is that such a statement should never have been made. There are put downs based upon falsehood that demean people because of their ethnicity, or whether they are male, or female. They are cutting remarks meant to slander someone according to the language of bigotry. So, those are pretty easy to identify, even if they seem somewhat subtle. The other one we need to look at is the put down that is based upon a truth, but at the sake of the rest of the story. You hear this one when people are put down when someone tells them something, or asks them something that is based upon enough truth to be able to look as though the truth was the main concern, but, it is really a subtle put down. For example, someone might say,

Why is your car always dirty?

Why don't you ever cook what I like to eat?

Put downs are horribly unwholesome, and they do not give grace to those who hear. Sometimes that grace that God requires to give to another brother or sister in Christ is going to sound harsh. It may be a rebuke for sin, or a warning, or something like that. It may be a swift and halting correction of their statements. Those kinds of things are not put downs when done according to Scripture. God wants us to speak His grace, but according to how He defines what His grace is, and not according to humanism, or personal feelings about what grace is supposed to be. Nevertheless, at the other extreme, put downs are the opposite of grace.

An interesting study that was done a few years ago, comes to mind concerning the consequences of putting down. It has to do with married couples. The story comes from U.S. News & World Report. According to the news report, marriage researchers wanted to shed some light on certain processes that destroy marriages. To do this, they studied various couples from the first day of their marriages on through the next decade of their marriages. What they found is that married couples who will endure, and those who don't endure by getting divorced, both look remarkably similar in the early days of marriage. The spouses in both kinds of marriages said that they loved each other. They said they got along. They said they were happy in the first days of marriage. The point is that all newlyweds look very similar, and they manifest similar characteristics in the beginning stages of married life. Nevertheless, there was one very telling difference between those who ultimately stayed together, and those that did not stay together at the end of ten years of marriage. Among couples who would ultimately stay together, about 5 out of every 100 comments made about each other were put-downs. Now, remember, these are the people who stayed together. This is not a particularly good statistic, but nevertheless, those who stayed together averaged 5 put downs for every 100 comments made about one another. Here is where it gets interesting, and it gets worse; Among couples who would later divorce, shortly after the beginning of marriage, 10 of every 100 comments of those newlyweds were insults, and put downs. The statistics get even more interesting. You see, the gap magnified, over the next decade of marriage. Those destined for divorce, continued heading downhill. Ultimately, they ended up flinging five times as many put downs at each other than couples that were working on their marriage to stay together. A particular quote from the researchers, highlights the curse of unwholesome words in a very pertinent way;

"Hostile put-downs act as cancerous cells that, if unchecked, erode the relationship over time, ... In the end, relentless unremitting negativity takes control and the couple can't get through a week without major blowups." --Notarius, and Markman

Why do I share this study with you? Because the essence of what these researchers discovered is the same kind of thing that happens with certain Christians in the body of Christ concerning other Christians in the body of Christ. I've seen it happen with malcontents concerning their own church fellowship that they have been meeting with. In sin, they start to put down the Holy Spirit inspired content of sermons. In sin, they start to put down other members of the local body. In sin, they start to put down the pastor, and the rest of the church leadership. They start out in love and constraint, but their selfish dissatisfaction, and humanistic tastes soon become manifest as more and more put downs are fired like sniper bullets, until ultimately, they are so caught up in their own sinful mercenary mission, that no more wholesome words are spoken concerning the fellowship. And so, just as in the research piece I quoted concerning marriages, such malcontents finally divorce themselves from the fellowship in selfish disobedience to the word of God. I've even heard of such people actually blaming God for their actions. They will say that the Holy Spirit is the One who is leading them to do what they are doing. What is sad is that the very sin that they were partaking in of putting down with unwholesome words that come from unwholesome, divisive thoughts, based upon the futility of the Gentile mind, becomes the hand made foundation that they built to justify their divorce from a godly fellowship. Sadly, in seeking to curse the fellowship with their inner heart profanity, they end up cursing themselves by creating a lifestyle-spiral of immaturity, where they continue to be stunted in realizing their full potential of spiritual growth. In self deception, they think they are maturing in the Lord, but in reality they are floundering in a mediocre spirituality that is manifest in their selfish, self assured, unbiblical views. This sin of putting down is devastating, and God hates it. Make no mistake about it. It grieves the Holy Spirit.

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Closely related is another category of unwholesome words. Lock the door, because I'm talking about gossip. Gossip is not only the fishing lure that brings in all the curious fish to the place where their fate awaits them. It is also the poison that destroys the rest of the pond. I don't know how many times I have said that the way we recognize gossip is not so much that we are talking about someone, but rather it is how, and why, we are talking about someone. You see, nobody is ever accused of gossip while praising someone else for their achievements. Have you ever had someone tell you to quit gossiping because you were complementing someone? Obviously, you are talking about someone, but just as obvious is the fact that you are not gossiping. You are not letting unwholesome words come out of your mouth. Gossip is to tear down, whereas, praise is to build up. What gossip does, is go on and on talking about someone's shortcomings, or someone's failings, in a spirit that is meant to tear down the person. Typically gossip is also characterized as sharing details about someone that are private concerns that do not involve the person the gossip is being shared with. Unwholesome, corrupt, bad words, that spread stories about people to expose perceived failures, perceived problems, and perceived mistakes, is gossip. Gossip is a disease in the church that I have preached against for years. Here is how you can identify gossip from simply sharing facts. In gossip, a resolution is not being sought according to a plan. When you are seeking a resolution to a problem according to a plan, then you are trying to help someone out. Sometimes you have to share details of the problem to get to implementing the plan of action in helping out the people being discussed. Gossipers are not trying to help people out. They are trying to share something without caring about how much they tear down the other person. The point is that gossip is a sin, and it grieves the Holy Spirit. Remember our self cleansing question that demands wholesome action:

Am I making it my ambition to speak wholesome words that build up according to people's needs by giving biblically defined grace to those who hear?

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This leads us to consider a final point concerning our speech. Unwholesome words also have to do with pride. What I mean is that when we are prideful, we tend to build ourselves up, don't we? When we are being prideful, we want people to respect us. We want people to revere us for our insights, or our accomplishments. When we are prideful, we want to justify our extra biblical thoughts and actions. But here is the problem. Whenever we speak unwholesome, prideful words to build ourselves up, or justify our selves for asserting some unbiblical philosophy, we are tearing down others at the same time. Whenever I build myself up by speaking words of how talented I am, or how smart I am, or how well I do something, what is happening to those who are listening to me? One thing that may happen is that they start to compare themselves with me and my so-called accomplishments. As I speak, they are becoming small, and I am becoming magnified. This is a direct tearing down that occurs in prideful self building up language. But something else happens. It is the sometimes hidden something else that tears down the unity of the body of Christ. What happens is that while I am trying to build myself up, I may, in fact be tearing my own self down in the eyes of the other person, because the other person usually recognizes that I am being prideful. There is nothing wrong with describing something that you have done with positive terms, like for example something you've made that you think will help people, or describing how your yard looks, or some achievement, but to do so with the motivation and words that build you up so that you (rather than the product) will be praised by others, is pride. There is nothing wrong with justifying your personal belief with a purely biblical principle that applies across the board. But to attempt to have a personal belief that you think every other Christian should abide by, simply because you think it is a good idea, is pride. Just check yourself as to why you are saying whatever it is you are saying about something concerning yourself. If it is to make a point about Biblically based excellence, but not about how excellent you are, then you have done your wholesome part. If it is to make a point about a clearly better way to do something, but not about how better you think you are, or how better you think your way of doing something is, then you've done your wholesome part to get your point across. The main thing we need to learn, though, is that there is an unwholesome way of bringing attention to yourself that has to do with building yourself up in pride. The bottom line is that all the different ways of speaking unwholesome words, are according to the futile Gentile mind. They are not according to the eternal mind of Christ, which means that such words grieve the Holy Spirit. Our Christian task then, is to not allow ourselves to speak this way anymore. Remember, the words I speak describe who I really am. Like learning another language, which, in a sense, is the Jesus language, You and I have learned a different dialect. Next, Paul talks about our dialect; saying to speak

"29 ... only such as is good for building up according to the need, so that it will give grace to those who hear."

First, what Paul means is that we should not speak, unless there is a true godly need to speak. The implication in the Greek is that there is no reason to speak empty superficial words, unless there is a certain need to be met for the moment.

Secondly, we are to speak only good words that build up, and the reason we only speak good words, and we only speak them for the specific reason of building up, and we only speak them according to the needs of people for the moment, is so that we, through our words, will give the gift of undeserved, and unmerited favor to those who hear the words. We must get what Paul means here because it is so important to our mature walk in Christ. Do you want to grow? Do you want to walk the mature Christian walk like God wants you to do? Do you want to make it your ambition to keep from grieving the Holy Spirit? Then speak to the need, and speak as a gift, because that is when someone is in need of hearing the Jesus dialect. Peter said,

"11 Whoever speaks, is to do so as one who is speaking the utterances of God;" 1 Peter 4:11

It's called ministry, and God wants you to do it. Remember when Paul first introduced how God is gifting us, and equipping us? Paul has been expressing our counter cultural existence to grow in Christ. This is what Paul has been meaning since back in verses 12-16. As I read I want you to be noticing how Paul references building up twice. Many translations put edify, which is the same thing. But, be thinking of the two places that building up is used as I remind us of Paul's earlier teaching, where God has given us people with speaking gifts, verse 12;

"12 for the equipping of the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ;"

So, we learn to speak Jesus words, so that we will speak Jesus words, and the reason is to build up the Christian people around us with Jesus words. Paul goes on with why, as he says,

"13 until we all attain to the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ. 14 As a result, we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, by craftiness in deceitful scheming;

This is what we are trying to do here in the ministry of this church. Paul goes on with the speaking part again, and listen to how we give grace to the hearers,

"15 but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ, 16 from whom the whole body, being fitted and held together by what every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love."

There it is; we speak the truth in love to one another to help each other grow up. It is the way all of us do our parts in building up, and growing up each other--in love. This is what Paul means. He means that the words you speak are tools. Your words are either tools for corruption, or the words that you speak are tools of love that give grace that causes the body of Christ to build itself up in love. The theme of the last couple of sermons, which is the spiritual essence of what Paul is saying, is,

Is it My Ambition to Keep From grieving the Holy Spirit?

Keep that in mind as I end the sermon this morning with some challenging questions for you that I want you to ask yourself: one is; am I making it my ambition to speak good words that are meant to give the gift, which is grace, to those who hear? If not, then you need to make an change. Ask yourself; Am speaking words of love and spiritual encouragement to people? Are you doing this with your spouse? Are you doing this with your children? Are you doing this with your parents? Are you doing this with your church? While considering these questions in deep and honest meditation, be thinking about whether one of your primary concerns in life is to be about the task of the ministry that God has given you. Are you a good steward of the ministry that God expects from you? Your ministry is that you are called to be a builder. So, put away the unwholesome language that tears down. Let's all be about the task of turning our words into words that create goodness in others. Instead of taking other Christians for granted, we need to look at them as precious divine appointments in our lives that are opportunities to practice grace. Give grace to the hearers, like Christ gives grace to you when you hear Him. This is the way we have learned Christ.

I want to leave you with a quote from a song that I have quoted other lines from in the past. I love the song, and I think there is one more line in it that is so pertinent to the point I am making this morning. The song concerns someone who is saved. The person is no longer walking according to the futility of the Gentile mind. All through the song, there are things that are noticed about the person in their brand new life. People wonder about the guy. He's different. He's like Christ, and then the line comes, and it is,

"They say he speaks a foreign tongue;
Words that care, and heal, and love.
It's that new Spirit that he's of"

Folks that new Spirit is the Holy Spirit we want to be of in our words. We don't want to grieve that Spirit. So, we need to be about words that really do care, and really do heal, and really do love one another as Christ loves His church.
[prayer]